


Birds Don't Sing

by MXRI



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chaptered, F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-04-25 11:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4958179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MXRI/pseuds/MXRI
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I think that all you ever really ever wanted was a reason to complain." / Tsukishima Kei might be just the most obnoxious and snarky guy you've ever met but, if you recall your literature classes well, the concept of "race, milieu and moment" might just be the answer to why he's like that. And you were just too fascinated (and partly annoyed) to let go of trying to figure out why is he the biggest and meanest french fry you've ever come across.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Birds Don't Sing

_**Birds don't sing. . .** _

* * *

By the time you were finished with your classes for the day, you would always find yourself stopping by the gymnasium to watch the volleyball club's practice. For starters, for the main purpose of offering moral support to your brother, Yū.

Not only that, but the team was overall such a welcoming and friendly bunch you couldn't help loving to spend your time in their company. Truthfully, their daily shenanigans would never fail to bring a smile to your face.

Although, it took you a while to actually warm up to them. At the beginning of that year, your brother had been suspended from the club for breaking the principal's dearest vase and so that meant there was no reason for you to accompany him to the gymnasium.

When you finally did, though, you couldn't help feeling somewhat left behind when you came across Yū's new teammates. Nothing against them, far from it, you just happened not to be a big fan of introductions.

You feared you'd end up panicking in front of them and there you go. You would make a fool out of yourself in front of everyone and they would find you weird for the rest of their lives! Of course, it could all be over exaggeration, but you chose to blame it on your social anxiety.

Interestingly enough, the socializing skills Yū had was something you deeply envied. You were twins, but even so your personalities came to diverge severely. Yū was a loud, cheerful extrovert while you stood in the corner, scared you would push people away with your awkwardness.

It would take you a while, naturally, but you were looking forward to opening up more to people. Less of being self-aware of every little action you do, and more appreciating the time you were to spend with your acquaintances.

By that time, Coach Ukai had just finished lecturing the team on their progress so far, proceeding to give them a couple of minutes to rest. Yū seemed very content with his development and you couldn't help chuckling at how childish he looked with that dorky grin on his face. Heartwarming, nonetheless.

"Did you enjoy today's practice, [Y/N]-senpai?" Hinata asked once he sat down by your side on the bleachers, his eyes glistening furiously.

You gently patted him on the head before replying. "I'm sorry, my sun child. I kinda got lost in the book I was reading so I didn't really pay much attention to you guys."

Hinata hung his head in defeat, but almost instantly beamed up again, looking up at you. "What are you reading?"

"Oh, it's a fantasy book about a dog who's cursed by a wizard and turns into a toy!" You replied.

The ginger gasped in awe, holding onto both of your wrists. "Woah! It sounds really fun, [Y/N]-senpai! Can I borrow it some other time?"

_Oh_ _dear,_ _how_ _much_ _I_ _love_ _this_ _precious_ _buttercup!_ _So_ _cute!_ You couldn't help fawning internally at his adorable self, but you cleared your throat and soon added. "Once I finish it, the book's all yours!"

"Thank you, senpai!"

"Why does he call  _her_ senpai?" You were sure that would be Yū fuming in the background, never quite appreciating why Hinata would only refer to you as senpai and not him.

As for yourself, you didn't really mind being called senpai or not, all you cared about was the trait you had at hand: you were taller than Yū! Not that it made much of a difference to you, really. Yū was the volleyball player there – and a really good one, too – not you.

Nevertheless, you were sure that deep inside he hated you for that and, just like in every brother-sister relationship, teasing him on that matter was always amusing.

"It sucks to have a superiority complex about my height," you would taunt him. That also meant you were taller than Hinata and he respected you for that.

You paused for a moment, chuckled at your own childish thoughts and proceeded to join the rest of the team. "How are you guys holding up?" You asked, side hugging the most precious being in the world: Suga-san!

"The coach said we're doing well; so far he believes we've had quite the development." Daichi said while stopping to have a drink.

"Good, good. The chicklets are growing up." You stuck your tongue out at them, even if you were genuinely content with their improvement, turning back to Suga. "You guys plan on stopping by Foothill today?"

Of all the third years, you had to admit you saw Sugawara as an older brother and you were pretty fond of him. Not that you couldn't count on Yū, it's just that Sugawara was more of a level-headed person and you knew you could always count on him for support.

Suga nodded affirmatively in return, tilting his head to the side. "Something in mind?"

"I just remembered I have a few things to buy. It would be more practical if I joined you guys rather than going by myself."

And that's when you spotted him.

Of all the first years you had been introduced to in the beginning of that semester, that guy. . Despite being shy, you adored making new friends. Who doesn't, really? But him. . You had barely even spoken a sentence to him, "Daichi's looking for you" at best.

What was so unusual about that kid, anyways?

Tsukishima Kei was. . different. He wouldn't speak much during practices but you were positive you could hear him snickering in the background. He always walked around with headphones and you, at all times with your earphones, respected him for that.

Coming to think of it, he had never even tried starting a conversation with you. It was understandable, in all honesty. You weren't much of a sociable person, as well.

You would even try to ask the team about him, only to have "Tsukishima's got quite the problematic personality, don't you think?" as an answer.

You didn't know him so you weren't one to judge. In your eyes, he seemed to be quiet and pretty down-to-earth. Not forgetting to mention, smart. Tsukishima was in a college prep class! What else was there to it?

He would also make fun of Hinata's height. . But you just so happened to do the same – playfully! – with Yū. You even tried asking his close friend, Yamaguchi, and yet he seemed pretty vague with his answers.

"That's just the way Tsukki is."

But he still stood from afar. . Somewhat intimidating, actually, and with quite the unapproachable aura around him. And at that very moment, it could've been just you seeing too much and yet you felt as though he had been staring you down.

In your eyes, Tsukishima was an intriguing character and you genuinely wanted to know him. But how would you approach him? You side glanced at the giant mountain a few feet away from you and so you managed to pull off the slightest of smiles.

He huffed and turned his head away.

You gasped quietly, almost as if offended at his attitude. All you were trying to do was be friendly, only to receive that treatment – such effrontery! – in return.

"Back to practice, guys!

* * *

And so, practice had finally come to an end and you were currently, along with the rest of the team, on your way to Foothill Store.

The team maintained their pace calm; but as for yourself, you were skipping far ahead of them. Humming a cheerful tune you had been listening to earlier that day as you slid the front door open.

You smiled sheepishly upon catching sight of the small lucky cat ornament you adored so much, placed on the counter. And as you made your way to the nearby shelves, you kept on repeating "cream, condensed milk, chocolate powder and biscuits"in your head. 

"What have you got in mind, nee-chan?" You heard Yū's voice call out by your side, nudging you with his elbow.

"I figured I could make some ice cream today." You gleefully announced.

"Nee-san, are you going to make some for us, too?” Tanaka suddenly blurted out, as if he had just appeared out of thin air.

You pursed your lips, scratching the back of your head. "The only problem is it might melt. . But I’ll work something out. Don't worry."

"Ahh, thank you, nee-chan!" Both Yū and Tanaka chanted in unison.

"It’s not much of a problem, guys." You reassured them, making sure you had gotten all the items you had in mind. "You can wait for me outside. I'm just going to pay for the bill."

They nodded in acknowledgement before heading out, while you made your way towards the cashier. "Good evening." You greeted the clerk, respectfully bowing your head, and proceeded to place your groceries on the counter.

"It’ll be ¥1050."

Taking out a bill of ¥1000, you proceeded to rummage through your bag, in hopes of finding a ¥50 coin. Yū most likely had something on him. "Huh, I’m afraid I need ¥50. . Could you way for a moment? I'll ask my brother."

"Hai."

On your way to the entranceway, you slid the door open and once you stepped out, you naturally threw your body forward. But you didn't expect you'd end up bumping into something. . Or rather, having your head pierced by someone's pointy chin. _  
_

"O-Ouch!" You yelled out in surprise, instantaneously jumping back and holding onto your forehead with both of your hands.

So there was it. Mt. Tsukishima Kei. He surely loomed over people. . You couldn't even hold back the thought of how poor Yū felt around him.

_Okay. This is just awful. I should stop._

In the meantime, Tsukishima just stood there, holding onto his chin.

"H-Huh, I'm s-sorry! I'm–" You furiously started throwing apologies at him, desperately flailing both of your arms in the air.

"Watch where you're going." His voice came as cold and frigid as a glacier. _Great comparison, [Y/N]. You're great._ In all honesty, his monotone voice surprisingly managed to send chills down your spine and even startled you, causing you to jump back.

_That was kind of rude of him, actually._

And that hit the spot.

"Hang. Right. There." Taking a step ahead, you pointed a finger straight at his face. "So you're blaming me for this? I obviously didn't see you coming and apparently neither did you. At any rate. . What the fuck? There's no need to be _this_ rude and impolite, Tsukishima. I already said I'm sorry."

"E-Er. . [Y/N]-san, it’s fine, really! Tsukki's just like that!" Yamaguchi spoke up, waving his hand around as if telling you to let it go. But you simply couldn't.

"Quit it, Yamaguchi."

_Rude!_

You turned around with a heavy sigh, crossing you arms. "I honestly think this is the first conversation we've ever had and wow! Yamaguchi-san, how can you put up with this guy? Just because he's like that, it's no excuse for him to take it out anyone!"

The rest of the team did turn to look at you but that was all there was to it. They did nothing but watch. _How helpful of all of you_ , you thought, gritting your teeth.

"Anyways," you turned to look at your brother. "Yū, have you got spare money on you?" And when you did so. . Tsukishima had purposely moved to the side and was, once again, standing in your way. "What's up with you?”

He didn't utter a single word. Instead, he stretched out his enormous hands and gave you a ¥50 coin.

"Is this your way of apologizing? Look, money won't make you a better man, kiddo." Was all you could come up with at the moment. Were you being too harsh on him?

"Noya-san asked me to take this to you." Tsukishima mumbled, turning around so you were now facing his back. And that surely shut you up for a brief moment.

"G– . .Good."

Curling your palms into fists, you grunted and kept on grumbling the inaudible to everyone else, storming off back into the store.

_My first actual conversation with this guy and it just. . !_ _How can they put up with this annoying brat? He's got no respect for his senpais. . !_

"What have you done, Tsukishima." Daichi spoke under his breath with a sigh, clutching onto his shoulder bag.

". . So now you're all against me. . ?" Tsukishima said in annoyance.

"Why do you have to be such a jerk? You pissed off nee-san." Tanaka spoke up, throwing a fist to the air.

"I'm not here to please people," was Tsukishima's final statement before you, in that exact moment, stepped right out of the store with your grocery bag.

Furiously stomping your way ahead of the crew you added. "What a charmer! Although, I sure do hope you realize acting like a spoiled brat will take you nowhere. That's common courtesy for you, Tsukishima."

"She absolutely owned you, man."

"Shut up."

* * *

_. . . **They just fall from the sky.**_


	2. Your Nemesis

_**She said,** _

* * *

"[Y/N]-senpai!" You heard Hinata's voice calling out your name, taking a sip of your juice box you proceeded to turn and look at him. "What is it, buttercup?"

"Could you please help me study for my upcoming english exam? Noya-san told me you're always scoring straight 90+ points so. . I hope I'm not much of a bother? If you're not available, that's completely fine!" His head was bowing down at you, his hands were clasped together.

Disposing of the now empty juice box on a nearby trash can, you turned to smile down at Hinata. "Nah, it's fine. I'm always here to help!"

"W-Woa– Thank you! You're honestly the best, senpai!" Hinata gave you a light hug and turned to skip away, but not before adding. "Are you coming to watch us today, [Y/N]-san?"

Now. . Was that a trick question? Ever since the day you called out on Tsukishima's behavior, the team was trying their best to prevent any of you from going supernova – and to do so, they tried to stop you from going near each other.

_It's not my fault this guy's awful! Pft. At any rate_ _, it's not like I'm really seeking arguments_ _, in general_ _? I'm honestly chill_ _. ._ _!_

And you really were. Daichi was trying to make up excuses to prevent you from going to their practice and, eventually, coming across Tsukishima. You quickly saw through their schemes and, much to their satisfaction, you maintained your ground. Tsukishima, too.

_Well, they know I'm a chill person!_

"I might arrive a little late because of cleaning duties, but I'll make sure to come! It's always fun seeing you guys so focused on something you enjoy." You smiled sheepishly, waving him goodbye as he darted off back to class.

"Those kids are too good for me." You mumbled under your breath, a grin slowly at a time making its way across your face.

Checking your wristwatch for a brief moment, you made a mental note: _I still have a few minutes left of break. I might just actually go to the library._

* * *

It was truly awful of you but you simply couldn't avoid passing by people tiptoeing in order to reach a particular shelf and snickering at them.

_No wonder Yū hates me!_

And so you peacefully made your way to a specific shelf, reaching out for a biology book for second graders. It wasn't that far away, so taking it wasn't much of a struggle.

You checked the book out with the librarian lady, and decided to enjoy the couple of minutes you had left to take notes on that chapter you had difficulties on. Deep sea creatures were just so creepy!

And so your last minutes of break were well spent on studying. You brought the book closer to your chest and proceeded to head out, currently on your way back to class.

And as (mis)fortune is bound to pursue you, you ended up bumping into _that_ same guy from the other day. Your _great_ friend, Tsukishima Kei.

You didn't utter a single word, but merely nodded in acknowledgement at him. It was no use bickering. But before you could dart off and avoid any drama, he gently held on to your wrist.

_If this fricking jerk tells me to watch where I'm going I might as well just stomp on his stupid french fry face!_

"Have you seen Yamaguchi?" He asked you, a single brow raised.

You shamefully had to admit you were already plotting a comeback, just in case he tried to sass you. No need to be immature now, he just asked you something.

"When I was leaving class I believe I saw him on his way to the vending machine. . What of it?" You were honestly surprised on how innocent and genuinely soothing your voice came out as.

"Suga-san was offering to help with his tosses but I haven't seen him anywhere."

"Oh, right. If I bump into Yamaguchi I'll make sure to tell him."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

And that was the most civilized exchange you've had since you met Tsukishima. Surely the guys were picking on him because of his attitude, but perhaps he wasn't so bad, after all.

* * *

_I take back what I said._ _This Tsukishima guy, ugh! He's the worst!_

Once you had finished your cleaning duties for the day, standing just outside the gymnasium, the first thing you heard was Tsukishima making fun of Hinata for not managing to score a good grade on his english exam.

Not only that, but he was holding a volleyball up, purposely so Hinata wouldn't be able to reach it.

The rest of Karasuno stopped at the exact moment you stepped through the gym door. As if the feeling was mutual, you could almost hear their accelerated heartbeat in sync once they came across your wrath.

Before Hinata even had the chance to jump and snatch the volleyball back, you stomped your way towards Tsukishima. You were honestly surprised they didn't try stopping you.

You stopped right in front of Tsukishima, him staring down at you with his disgustingly smug face. "Som–"

**_Smack!_ **

You had furiously smacked Tsukishima's arm with the palm of your hand and must I say, the loud sound almost caused Asahi to fall to the floor because of a heart attack.

Once your hit had been landed, the volleyball fell to the floor and bounced away, until Hinata snapped out of his daze to pick it up.

"You piss me off." Was all you managed to say before you made your way to the bleachers.

_Fucking loser thinks everyone's born extremely intelligent like him!_ _What's so fulfilling about making fun of people because they're not good at something? It's not even a healthy, playful tease! That's just plain rude! And people wonder why I hate this guy. ._

* * *

**_"How could you joke at a time like this?”_ **


	3. Befriend

**_Coming_** **_to_** **_think_** **_of_** **_it_** ** _. . ._**

* * *

"I'm just trying to be friendly, you know?" You were trying your best not to look like an animal while (shoving food into your face) eating, but thinking of a certain someone caused your blood to boil even hotter. "But some people just don't get it! That guy, ugh, he's got character problems, I tell you!"

"Don't you think that's a little too much, [Y/N]-san?" Your best friend, Mako, tried reassuring you. "I mean, if the guy's a natural born douche, why not leave it at that?"

And that caused you to drop your chopsticks onto your bento box. "There's just something off about that guy. It might be just a hunch but. . I still feel like something's up."

"Perhaps you're trying too hard to befriend everyone around you." Mako said with a heavy sigh, taking a sip of her juice box.

"I'm not like that." You mumbled out oblivious to your own behavior. "I'm too much of an introvert to approach people."

"Whatever you say." Mako shrugged, turning her head to look at her surroundings. "Well, if you're so sure of yourself, who am I to contradict you. Unless. ."

"What?" You tilted your head at her.

"You want to make everyone happy. You even said so yourself. ." Mako said, pointing a finger to the air. "You think something's off with him and, perhaps, that's why you feel the need to befriend the guy! You want to discover whatever's the issue he's been through and _voilá!_ You want to fix it!"

Mako's speech caused you to bite your bottom lip, your brows formed into a frown. _I'm_ _not_ _exactly_ _sure_ _myself_ _but_ _. ._ _What_ _if_ _that's_ _really_ _it_ _?_ _He_ _surely_ _seems_ _like_ _a_ _loner_ _. ._ _Ah_ _,_ _he_ _might_ _just_ _be_ _a_ _natural_ _born_ _douche_ _like_ _Mako_ _said_ _. . !_ _But_ _wait_ _. ._

_There's_ _always_ _a_ _reason_ _to_ _why_ _people_ _end_ _up_   _like_ _that_ _._ _Isn't_ _there_ _a_ _theory_ _saying_ _that_ _the_ _enviroment_ _influences_ _people_ _?_ _In_ _a_ _way_ _to_ _change_ _their_ _personality_ _and_ _behavior_ _. ._ _Kind_ _of_ _like_ _a_ _psychological_ _thing_ _? Race, milieu and moment._

With your arms crossed, you retorted. "I'll. . Look into that."

* * *

And so your day moved on as slowly as ever. You (shamefully) spent most of your time doodling and thinking of better ways to approach a certain someone but considering the circunstances. .

_I_ _try_ _,_ _I_ _really_ _do_ _,_ _but_ _with_ _him_ _being_ _that_ _sassy_ _and_ _annoying_ _self_ _. ._ _It's_ _not_ _helpful_ _at_ _all_ _._

"Actually. . I could ask Yamaguchi. He's friends with him, after all." You nodded to yourself once you packed your belongings, making your way to the volleyball practice.

Once you had arrived at the gym, you stopped right in front of the (open) door and decided to peek your head in. The first thing that came into your view was Yū and Tanaka glomping Tsukishima for whatever the reason, shouting _Good_ _job_ _, Tsukishima!_ in unison.

He frowned upon their sudden move, his face was minutely getting flustered.

You couldn't help but flash a cheeky smile at that. _Maybe he's just doesn't know how to act around people. And pretty snarky at it, too._

* * *

On your way back, you maintained your pace slow as you walked alongside your brother. Your gaze was low and ever so often, you would find yourself thinking of a proper moment to "befriend" Tsukishima.

_Befriend._ _I don't think that's quite the right word. . Or maybe yes? It's not like we're friends, really. Well, we do hang out but it's only because of the team. And to think his only friend in here is Yamaguchi. . I wonder._

"Oi, [Y/N]-san! Is something the matter?" Sugawara gently nudged you in the arm, gently smiling down at you. "You seem to be a little distant today. ."

That seemed to snap you from your thoughts. Blankly looking up at Suga, you mumbled. "It's nothing. It's just that I've been thinking a lot. . Nothing to worry about!" You reassured him, furiously flailing your hands at his face.

He tilted his head but decided to pay it no mind for the time being. Sugawara then nodded in acknowledgement and patted you on the head. "If you're troubled you can always come to me, vent your troubles away. I don't really mind."

_Aah_ _,_ _Suga-san_ _!_ _You're_ _just_ _too_ _pure_ _for_ _this_ _world_ _!_

While mentally thanking for Sugawara's existence, you still managed to nudge him with your elbow. "It's kind of stupid but. . I'll message you later. As long as I'm not interrupting your study schedule, of course!"

He chuckled and continued to reassure you you weren't a bother, not at all.

As for the rest of the team, they were enjoying their usual pork buns. You could clearly hear Hinata shouting how delicious they were, and that caused you to giggle.

_I_ _love_ _those_ _guys_ _,_ you thought while looking at the starry night before you. You stretched your arms to the air and continued with your calm pace, turning to gaze at the neighborhood.

The guys kept on yelling for whatever the reason while you walked far behind, not uttering a single thing. Instead, you were still smiling, grateful for having those volleyball enthusiasts in your life. They would never fail to amuse you; those dorks would forever be the cause for the glistening in your eyes.

Once you turned to look back at the team, you noticed a certain someone had been looking back at you. It seemed he had taken notice of your sudden – cheerful – mood swing and the shit-eating grin on your face. But as for himself, he wasn't one to complain.

Even if the two of you barely talked (you would bicker at each other, let's face it) that smile of yours made him feel weird in some way. His face remained expressionless but his chest felt warm by simply seeing you smile.

_Maybe_ _I'm_ _losing_ _it_ _._

* * *

**_. . .I_** **_haven't_** **_got_** **_a_** **_chance_** **_to_** **_be_** **_your_** **_friend._**


	4. Contentment

_**We** **are ordinary** **people** **.**_

* * *

That day, practice was going the same as always. Except for the fact you weren't there. Hinata had asked Yū why hadn't you gone to their practice, but not even him was able to answer properly the reason to your absence.

"I came straight here after classes but I didn't bump into her or anything. She probably went straight home." Yū said with a shrug.

Asahi seemed concerned as he tugged at Yū's shoulder and begged they should look out for her. In reply, Yū patted him on the back and reassured him and the rest of the team how you knew how to handle yourself.

Sugawara felt a little uneasy but he had known you for almost two years now. Whatever be it the reason you had decided not to go that day, he was sure you had problems of your own to face.

Last week you had informed him of your "mission" in trying to befriend Tsukishima. Sugawara was a huge supporter of the idea and he assured you, whatever you were up to, he would always back you up.

He also noted Tsukishima hadn't gone to practice, either. It wasn't like him to miss club activities but he couldn't quite put a finger on it. If things were working as planned, he liked to think you were the one who caused his delay.

At any rate, he turned to Yamaguchi and asked. "Where's Tsukishima?"

Yamaguchi perked his head up while stretching out his arms. With a huff, he replied. "Tsukki forgot where he left his headphones so he said he'd check on the library. I'm sure he'll be back soon enough!"

The coach nodded affirmatively and hushed everyone to start practice, counting on Shimizu's assistance into giving him the ball so he could spike at the rest of the team, and thus improve their receiving skills.

Meanwhile, Tsukishima was making his way towards the school building. He couldn't stop complaining on how reckless it had been of him to the point of forgetting his most treasured belonging: his headphones.

With swift steps he had already found his way on the corridor of the second floor and where the library was located. With furrowed brows he excused himself into the library and asked if someone had spotted his headphones.

Luckily, one of the library helpers had found it and kept in on a drawer, before even having the time to leave it with a teacher or the principal himself.

Tsukishima bowed at them a _thank you_ before heading back outside, quietly cursing under his breath how could he have forgotten where he had left something of utmost importance to him?

He exhaled heavily and, once he stepped out of the main school building, he could've sworn he had heard someone sniffling.

_I'm_ _pretty_ _sure_ _I_ _didn't_ _hear_ _it_ _when_ _I_ _was_ _coming_ _here_ _. ._

Placing his headphones around his neck, turning to his right, he spotted a female figure all curled up. She was holding her legs closer to her chest, her gaze was low and mostly covered by her [h/c] tufts.

He couldn't help but notice  _she_ was the one who had been sniffling. Her shoulders were furiously going up and down, her whole body was shaking.

_She's_ _crying_ _._

Tsukishima was one of those people who didn't know how to react properly in certain situations. He couldn't recall ever comforting a crying friend.

_What_ _do_ _I_ _do_ _?_

We all know Tsukishima isn't one to care about such "trivial" matters but watching you in that state. . Well, that caused his chest to ache. He couldn't quite put a finger on it but he indeed felt weird.

With a quiet sigh and soft steps, he made his way towards your shaky figure and, carefully, sat by your side. He didn't intend on scaring you off in a situation like that, after all.

Upon feeling something brush against your arm, with a sniffle, you side glanced to your left. And once you took note of who that was, you furiously threw your arms forward in an attempt to force him to leave, but to no avail. He didn't seem fazed.

Your sudden burst of hiccups caused you to feel even more ashamed. Well, he had heard and seen you cry, after all. And, having your lips formed into a pout while tears ran freely down your face, you stuttered. "S–. . Shouldn't y. . you be in practice?"

Tsukishima gulped while fixing his glasses, muttering under his breath. "I forgot my headphones in the library."

You blinked a couple of times, staring blankly back at him. You exhaled tiredly and retreated to the same position as before, bringing your knees closer to your abdomen. 

A few minutes had gone by and neither of you had said a single thing; hell, what was he even trying to achieve by being there?

"Look, I'm not asking you to make me some company. You have your club activities to attend to." You glanced to your left where Tsukishima was currently sitting, his shoulders ever so often brushing against yours. "I'll be fine."

_Bullshit_ _._

"Why do you have to make things complicated?" Tsukishima blurted out, staring down at you. "There's obviously something wrong, you idiot."

For some reason, deep inside, part of you was just thinking he didn't call you idiot in a pejorative way; you liked to think that was his way of showing he cared.

But at any rate, you felt a little uneasy. He shouldn't be the one to care about your mediocre issues at hand. Even so, you dared say it was nothing he should worry about.

Tsukishima had his brows furrowed, his golden eyes practically piercing themselves into your soul. "If in your concept of world 'nothing' is something that makes you cry then, wow, you should look into that."

His tone of voice might've been harsh and cold but you could tell, once more, that was his way of showing his concern.

Wiping a few sneaky tears out of the corners of your eyes, you couldn't help but smile sheepishly at him.

Tsukishima gulped yet once again, before leaning forward and gently (and awkwardly) wrapping his arms around your small frame.

_Was_ _that_ _his_ _way_ _of_ _comforting_ _someone_ _?_

Your face was uncomfortably forced against his chest and you couldn't help but squirm. You, in return, awkwardly snaked your arms around his waist and ended up, unconsciously, tightly holding onto him.

His face had found its way to the top of your head as he (awkwardly yet again) patted you gently on the back.

Your lips quivered and your eyes were now firmly shut, your entire body was once again being consumed by sobbing.

Tsukishima had no clue what was he even doing, but his mind told him to simply hold you tight. His gesture might've been awkward, true, but it was still highly appreciated in your eyes.

"I'm sure you've never come across this because, well, you're extremely intelligent." You mumbled, your shaky fingers gripping onto the fabric of his jacket. "The thing is, I've tried my best and all my hard work was in vain. I mean. . I failed one of my exams miserably."

All Tsukishima ever did was mumble a quiet _oh_ in return; he didn't plan on interrupting you. You could vent out all you wanted, he still wouldn't mind. Even if he had to miss practice to make you feel better, well, his consciousness wasn't going to stop him.

He still couldn't put up with the sudden rush of thoughts and feelings that washed over him; they were all too new and, all in all, things he had never experienced before.

The only clear thing in his mind, in that moment, was the desire to stop you from crying. And he intended on doing so.

"I mean. . _Fuck._ Mostly everyone got decent grades while I failed. And I reached the lowest of low. It's one thing get a failing grade and other to get a failing grader after all the hardwork you put through it." You couldn't help but crack a sad smile, your fingers were now unconsciously gently caressing his back.

"As for the other issue at hand. . There's also what am I going to do with my life. Well, I'm not particularly good at anything other than drawing, I suppose? I also like to write for my own amusement but that's for another day."

Your chest heaved up and down once you finished talking, slightly backing up of your embrace with Tsukishima. You couldn't help but internally whimper because there was a giant wet stain on Tsukishima's jacket, caused by your tears.

Even if you had been the one to back away, a single arm of his was holding onto your waist while the other gently caressed your hair. You had to admit it felt surprisingly relaxing.

You almost screamed once you came into terms what it looked like the two of you were doing. _All I ever wanted do was befriend this guy and if someone happened to see us, well, they'll think I'm trying to seduce him instead!_

At any rate, setting your obnoxious thoughts aside, you could finally look at him in the eyes and mumble a thank you.

You knew he wasn't one to talk, but his company surely did you good. He could've been the most awkward at trying to comfort people at first, but you weren't one to complain.

"Well, I guess you should go back to practice." You spoke up at him once you stood up, brushing the dust off your skirt.

"Are you coming, too?" His face revealed no expression but you liked to believe he was happy inside.

"Tell Yū I've gone home early." And with that, you took hold of your shoulder bag and waved off at him as you skipped out of the school grounds.

With his hand on his pockets, Tsukishima laughed dryly at his own stupid behavior and proceeded to head towards the gym.

_Well, today might just have been a good day._

* * *

_**We can still get lost.** _


	5. Daisy

_**I tried to be someone else,**_

* * *

It was a beautiful day. No clouds in the sky, birds were chirping in the distance. You could hear small talk not too far away from you, but it wasn't much of a bother.

You couldn't quite put a finger on it but you had been feeling particularly cheerful and joyous for the past week. Be it after you little conversation with Tsukishima or not, in any event, you weren't complaining. For now, you would just appreciate the scenery before you.

And if only for a day, you would allow yourself to forget about your troubles and contemplate the beauties, even the smallest, in the world.

With your hands holding onto the school's rooftop fence, letting a heavy and relaxed exhale out, you stared at the ground before you.

The wind blew at the leaves of the tall trees; even the tiniest of bushes shook. Dried leaves found their way to the concrete floor, the sound of rustling leaves seemed to soothe your soul, if ever so lightly.

And so you found yourself quietly humming a tune you had listened to the other day, a hand now being brought closer to your face as you rubbed your eyes.

The wind caused your [h/l] [h/c] locks to sway before you, but it wasn't much of a bother. Indeed that was a beautiful evening.

And so you turned on your heel and sat exactly where you were standing before. You took the book you had brought along with your bento, placing it on your lap.

You ran your fingers through the slightly crippled and dog-eared pages, opening on the page with a charming daisy flower bookmark hanging on it.

_The Clouds_ _Burst_ , you quietly mumbled the current chapter's name. That was probably the third time you were reading "The Hobbit" but you could never get enough of Bilbo's cuteness!

Even if you were (once again) getting close to the "bitter" end, there was no stopping you from reading that astounding work of art, over and over again.

As you gently flipped through the pages, something caught your attention. It might've been just a giggle from someone, too, having luch at the rooftop, but you couldn't help but peek towards the sound.

And you regretted it so much. There was nothing wrong with what was going on, far from it; _it was cute._

You couldn't tell for sure who they were but a female with long golden hair kept poking at the guy by her side. What really caught your attention was how cute it was to watch.

They seemed to be just messing with each other; playfully poking, tickling each other, etc. But there was something about it that just kept thoughts lingering in the depths of your brain.

They were laughing at absolutely nothing, you presumed, their shoulders and elbows gently brushing against one another's. By the sudden way the girl intertwined her fingers with his while giving him a kiss on the cheek, you deduced they were a couple.

And that stuck to you.

Your gaze was now back to the book resting on your lap, your lips were now twitching into a straight line.

You wanted something like that in your life. You wanted to care and worry about a single and particular person the same way the girl treated that guy.

You wanted to hold someone to your heart. Surely you had Yū. He was definitely someone you held close to your heart, but you wanted something different.

You wanted to go madly insane for someone. You wanted to have a person who would fill your incomplete thoughts at the most random of times. The desire to fall head over heels, well. . You wanted someone.

As hopeless as that sounded in your ears, you wanted to fall in love.

Bringing the book closer to your face, you exhaled heavily. Your brows were furrowed and you couldn't help but bite your bottom lip.

And so, right before your eyes, a figure seemed to have appeared out of thin air and was currently looming over you. You could've sworn you felt your heart skip a beat.

"Why are you here all by yourself?"

 His voice might've been calm but that didn't stop you from flinching; he had come out of nowhere, after all.

Clearing your throat and setting your book aside, you sheepishly smiled up at Tsukishima. "My best friend had something to do for the day, so I figured I'd come to the rooftop. It's pretty peaceful in here."

And for a moment, you found yourself staring blankly at the hand he reached out for you. You blinked a couple of times before holding your hands in his, as he helped you up.

You couldn't help but notice how harsh his hand felt if compared to yours.

_All due to his constant blocking, I suppose. I wonder if his fingers hurt._

"You seem in a good mood today." He didn't seem particularly surprised nor seemed to be speaking in a sarcastic tone. Your gut told you there was something to it but you decided to pay it no mind, for now. What was going on with him?

"Well, today _is_ a beautiful day, don't you think?" And with the brightest of smiles, you couldn't help but look up at him. "Not going to lie, I'm actually surprised to find you here. And by yourself, of all things!" You dramatically threw your arms in the air, with a short giggle, leaning your back against the fence behind you.

All Tsukishima ever did was shrug and fix his glasses, taking a step forward and standing by your side. "For some reason I felt like coming here. Get some fresh air, I think." He side glanced at you for a moment, before raising his chin to look up at the sky.

As for yourself, you couldn't help but find yourself appreciating how tall Tsukishima was. The top of your head reached his rib cage at best, you could tell. _His legs are enormous, what the shit!_ Luckily for you, he (seemingly) hadn't noticed your constant gaze.

_I wonder what it must be like kissing someone as tall as him. ._

And that caused you to choke on your own saliva.

_What am I even thinking?_

Tsukishima squinted, his brows furrowed in the slightest of hints of concern. He merely tilted his head and stared down at you, his hands resting in his pockets.

You tried justifying your ashamed and flustered face to your shortness of breath (by choking on your own spit), bringing a hand to your face as you coughed nervously. You waved your other hand at him, signaling you were actually doing alright.

_Probably not but let's just leave it at that._

"You're such a klutz." Tsukishima snickered and, once again, you noted how he didn't sound snarky or obnoxious in any possible way. You couldn't quite put a finger on it but you couldn't help but question his behavior.

"Good mood today, are we not?" In an attempt to furiously brush your shameful thoughts aside, your gently nudged him with your elbow. But that still didn't stop you from flashing him the purest and brightest of smiles.

_Does_ _this_ _have_ _to_ _do_ _with_ _me_ _?_ _I_ _surely_ _had_ _my_ _share_ _of_ _snapping_ _at_ _his_ _behavior_ _but_ _. ._ _This_ _is_ _unusual_ _._ _I_ _say_ _as_ _if_ _I've_ _known_ _him_ _for_ _my_ _entire_ _life_ _. . !_ _Shut_ _up_ _,_ _me._

"But honestly, do you plan on spending the rest of your break here," before he could even reply, with a disgusted look on your face, you pointed at yourself. "With me?"

With a sheepish and practically unnoticeable smile, he said with a shrug. "I wouldn't really mind."

You felt as though you could no longer breath properly. You chest was aching absurdly, there was no helping it, and you could feel your face burning up. You were possibly on the brink of having a panic attack.

But luckily you didn't.

Your grip tightened against the rooftop fence's wires and your lips were now twitching into a pout _._

_Should I take that as a compliment? . .Nah, he's probably got nothing better to do._

You gulped as you timidly shook your head affirmatively at his comment, turning your head away from his gaze. Staring at him even longer would cause to you burst into a (even more) flustered mess, or so you believed.

"How are your studies going?" Tsukishima maintained his gaze low, as if rethinking and reconsidering if he had said anything weird to the point of causing your mood to drastically change.

_So_ _he_ _is_ _concerned._

"I scored 45 out of 60 on this exam I had the other day." By now you were twiddling your thumbs, already embracing yourself for the tons of comebacks and furious mocking. But when none came, well, that got you even more deep in thought.

"You can do better than that." He crossed his arms and avoided your gaze as much as possible.

_Who_ _the_ _hell_ _are_ _you_ _and_ _what_ _have_ _you_ _done_ _to_ _Tsukishima_ _Kei?_

"Say," with another gulp you quietly asked. "Did something happen?"

"Why do you ask?" Tsukishima, in no possible way, seemed fazed. He seemed just as curious as you were, actually.

"Lately you've been acting a lot nicer. . I'm not sure about the other guys, but it seems that way to me." You couldn't help but almost bite at your own tongue for being so blunt about your assumptions.

"That's just the way it is. Weren't you complaining not long ago?" It might've been you, but you could've sworn to have seen his features twitch fiercely, almost as if defensively.

"I guess you're right but still. ." Running a hand through your hair, you trailed on.

"Well, I'm off." And as simply as that, Tsukishima had already walked off. 

_As soon as he starts being all nice, there I go ruin his attempts. Good job, me. Surely your attempts of befriending him are going smooth, as well. But at any rate. ._ _Did I offend him in someway?_

_Ha. . I think I' might have actually stepped on a landmine._

* * *

_**But nothing seemed to change, I know now.** _


	6. Square One

_**You might be a cold hearted fool, but I'm not running from you.** _

* * *

"Is everything alright?" Mako's sudden poke in your arm caused you to jump back, a hand placed onto your racing heart. You were far too deep into whatever you had in mind, earplugs on both of your ears, so you couldn't tell for sure you were thankful or not for you friend snapping you from your confused thoughts.

The week had gone as smooth as always, but the upcoming exams before summer vacation was something you were actually scared of. Your grades were mainly average – aside when it came to your favorite subjects, of course – but that didn't stop you from feeling uneasy and mainly on edge.

You shook your head affirmatively, closing the notebook you had in hands. Even if Mako were your closest friend, you couldn't help but feel slightly ashamed and scared of her peeking at the doodle you had just been working on. Even if you weren't the best at drawing anatomy, you could still manage a bust profile. And you were proud of your latest work.

"Are you sure?" Mako looked down at you, sighing quietly. "Because honestly, you've been off lately. You don't talk as much as you used to and I'd say. . You're calmer than usual." She sat on the seat by your side, her elbows planted on the table. "I haven't heard you snapping at Tsukishima in quite a while. Did you scare him off?"

Although she had spoken in a monotone voice, you could still tell the tiniest of hints of a playful voice when she asked if you had scared Tsukishima off. And much to your dismay, now, it was far too late to back down. You couldn't tell for sure how were things with him, but you could tell you had made quite the progress, to which you couldn't help but feel utterly thankful for.

Maintaining your gaze low, you gently tapped your fingers against the wooden table. "The other day we had quite a civilized conversation. . More or less." Even if you hadn't told her of quite the 'comfort in silence' happening, you still decided to mention the proper chat you had had not long ago.

"Oh." Mako rose a finger to the air, teasingly smirking down at you. "Could it be you're all gloomy because of Tsukishima?"

You couldn't have gasped any louder. Your eyelids were widened, your palms slamming against the wooden desktop. Were you overreacting? You hated to admit, but you were most likely so. "Are you implying I have a crush on that giant stupid french fry?"

Mako excitedly jumped up, holding onto your wrist. "Oh my, you're _so_ into him!" She would never quit squealing, you presumed, until you forcefully covered her mouth with your hand.

By the time she was long calm, you plopped back into your seat and crossed your arms above your chest. With a hiss, you retorted, "Bullshit."

"Well, then why were you making such a big deal of it?" Mako pressed further, still grinning down at you.

"I'm not fond of people spreading fake rumors about me, if you don't mind." You were honestly surprised by your sudden mood swing into a defensive/aggressive mode, gritting your teeth.

"[Y/N]-san, _please._ " Mako's brows were fiercefully furrowed and her face as judgemental as always. It was almost as if her fierce gaze could pierce into your soul. "Judging by your reaction I'm positive there's something to it."

Before you could give her another sassy reply of your own, something Mako mumbled had stuck to you. How did you feel?

_I certainly haven't considered this before. Surely a friendship can change one's ways but. . Have I really been gloomy? To think of it, I've been spacing out a lot. . I haven't had a proper conversation with Tsukishima ever since last week. Could it be affecting me somehow?_

_I haven't paid attention to it but. . Do I act or feel weird around him? I surely do feel anxious but I don't think there's a thing to it. I've always been like this. . Right?_

With Mako patiently waiting for a proper answer of your own, all you could muster up was an uncertain sentence. "It's out of affection, Mako. Now that we've come into terms there's no need for me to always be yelling at his behavior – _hell, I'm not his mom._ And above it all else, it's troublesome to always be fighting, don't you think?"

You flashed her a cracked yet somehow bright smile as you stood up, fixing the back of your skirt. "I'm going to get myself something to drink. I'll be back soon."

* * *

_Mako and her stupid theories will be the death of me. Frick. I haven't had a crush on someone since middle school and I'm positive I'd notice if it happened again._  
     
_. .Or would I?_

You had suddenly stopped on your tracks, a few feet away from the vending machine. _What if I haven't realized it yet? Fuck, Mako, you're causing me to overthink._

_Bothersome,_ was all you could think about as you furiously massaged your temple. _Nah, it's just a misunderstanding._ But that still didn't justify how gloomy and distant you had been acting without even realizing.

_Mom commented how I've lost my appetite. But is it really? I hadn't noticed. .  I've been procrastinating a lot but I presumed it to be out of tiredness. . What's going on with me?_

You were stomping your way towards the vending machine, tightly holding onto your phone. Your brows were furrowed, in a scowl, an irk mark on your forehead. If you came to think about it, your face was almost as bitter as Kageyama's when drinking his milk.

"Good morning, [Y/N]-senpai."  
  
And the sudden appearance of a newcomer caused you to jump back, startled, which almost caused your phone to fall to the concrete floor. You tried brushing off your obnoxious antics by crossing an arm while shamefully waving at him, Kageyama.

You were surprised to have come across him during your lunch break, but even so you admired his polite attitude by greeting you, even if you weren't ones to talk much.

"Are you going to get something from the vending machine?" He quietly asked, scratching at the back of his neck.

"Oh, yes. Want me to get something for you?" You looked up at him, with pursed lips, snatching a few coins from your wallet.

Kageyama's cheeks seemed to be dusted with a subtle shade of pink – was he embarrassed? – and in your opinion, that was adorable. "You don't have to worry about it!"

"Milk, is it?" Even though you already knew the answer, you couldn't help showing a little trivial knowledge of your own. Kageyama seemed surprised.

Inserting the proper coin value and choosing the respective numbers on the vending machine, after a low _click!_ you reached out for the two cartons.

Kageyama's milk box and your [f/f] juice.

"I can pay you back, don't worry, senpai!" Kageyama blurted out, his face still as embarrassingly flustered as before.

"Nah, it's not much of a problem. Plus it didn't cost much, so don't sweat it!" You calmly reassured him, waving your hand around. "Would you like to have lunch together?"

Kageyama seemed to be taken aback by your inquiry, which caused to ponder back if you had made a bad move. You were just about to take back your offer, until he, abruptly, shook his head up and down.

You let out a subtle, quiet gasp under your breath, a cheerful grin making its way to your face. "There's an empty bench right over there!"   

* * *

You were glad to have been able to maintain an adequate conversation flowing with a less-embarrassed Kageyama, whose eyes seemed to have sparkled up with the mere mention of the word "volleyball".

And honestly, you were enjoying your little break with Kageyama. The time seemed to have flown by, with the chatter summarizing to everyone's thirst for improvement as a team and his fear that animals might dislike him.

You couldn't hold back a melodious chuckle at the thought of several animals averting and possibly running away from the poor setter. "I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding. They must've been scared off by your menacing aura," you mused.

Kageyama rose a brow at you, not exactly understanding nor quite appreciating your comment, which caused you to jerk back, waving your hands around. "I was just joking!" You heaved out, a sweatdrop of defeat on your forehead.

His mouth shaped into an inconspicuous 'o', you sighing in relief. And honestly, you were scared of making things more awkward than they needed to be, until you looked down at your phone and noticed lunch break would be over in a few minutes.

"I think we should head back to the school building." You suggest, standing up. "And I have to say I had fun, we should do this more often!"

But before he could even reply, you were startled to hear your phone ringing and feeling it vibrate on your hand, which almost made you drop it. And guess who? It was Mako.  _Crap. I totally forgot about her._

"Shit, I'm sorry, but now I have to hurry because I _sort of_ left my friend behind." You explained, a little embarrassed for being so forgetful, scratching at your cheek. "I'll see you later, Kageyama-kun!"

You were positive you heard him snorting once you sprinted ahead, towards the school building and rushed over the stairs leading to the second floor. And with that, you had finally come across your doom – no, not Mako – but someone several times taller that your petite friend.

You stopped right on your heels once you came to bump your shoulder against his arm. And he stared down at you as if you were as insignificant as a fly, his gaze firm and condescending, boring into your ego.

_So is he still mad at me because of the other day?_

But nothing could've been a better answer to your wonders than another one of his stupid _watch where you're going_ speeches, which resulted in you, almost as if instantaneously, hissing back at him.

"Fuck off."

_Back to square one, huh?_

* * *

**_Come break me down._ **


	7. Clean Slate

**_You don't need me. You don't want me._** **_Leave me be while I sleep._ **

* * *

Your midterms were just around the corner. But on the good side, that meant in a three week's time you'd finally be free of school! And yet, the thought of your quality relaxation time didn't seem to calm your nerves.

Studying was as stressful as it was, and that was slowly getting to your head. You even came to discuss your upcoming week which would bring a lot of exhaustion to your soul, and your mother seemed to have found the solution.

One of your uncles owned a beach house, and apparently he allowed you and the rest of your family to spend the weekend there. And you were all up for it, until you stopped for a moment to ponder.

The volleyball team had a lot of matches to look forward to, such as spring high and the training camp you had heard coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei mumbling about. And that sparkled an idea within you.

_It'll be my treat!_

* * *

You, along with the rest of the team, were set to your dear uncle's beach house. The invite had a lot of begging towards your and everyone else's parents, but you had to admit Yū helped a lot with the persuading.

In any event, everyone seemed to have gotten their parents' permission and were all inside the school team's bus. While Takeda-sensei was the one driving, Ukai was sitting on the front seat, right beside the main door, using his bag as a pillow.

On the following row, the three third years seemed excited in their chatter, Shimizu resting right behind them, while Yū and Tanaka seemed to be plotting on doodling on someone's sleeping face with an ink pen. Yeah, you could hear it all.

Kageyama was peacefully resting his head against the window, staring at the scenery before him. Hinata was turned back, happily yammering to his heart's content with Yamaguchi. Tsukishima, of course, had a grouchy expression on.

As for the rest of the second years like you and the Ita's, you were all chilling in the final row. You hadn't had the time to properly chat with Ennoshita up until now, and you had to admit he was a wonderful guy to talk to.

And it didn't take long for you to arrive, just in time for the sun to go down. Everyone seemed to be in a daze over the pink and orange sky, but you couldn't blame them. The view was fantastic.

Continuing on, everyone took their belongings inside and settled on a room. Everyone had a respective room, except for the coach and teacher who said it would be alright if they slept in the living room.

And you, of course, got to share your room with Shimizu. It was childish for you to be thinking like that, but it would be nice to just talk while braiding one another's hair. But honestly though, you grew up with Yū; he did let you style his hair, but sadly no braids.

Once everything and everyone's belongings were set in place, it was just as late so you could help Shimizu serve dinner. You were a pity of a cook, so it was her and Takeda-sensei's work; you merely helped serve.

While everyone discussed the plans for saturday, you were giggling in the corner, amused, on how Hinata – a heavy sleeper, you deduced – still hadn't taken notice on the black pen doodles made on his face.

You adored the boy, you really did, but you were just waiting to see how long it would take for him to realize how messy his face looked.

_Mental note to high-five the shitty children duo later._

* * *

Only before going to bed was when you heard Hinata loudly shout.  _Took him long enough._ You heard Shimizu giggle, amused, while you finished changing your clothes.

"So no one really told Hinata?" She pondered likely to herself, subtly smiling at the thought. "It seems everyone enjoyed themselves today. That's good."

You nodded in agreement. "Hey, I'll go make myself some tea. Do you want some?" You offered, just about to step outside the room. Shimizu shook her head and you continued on towards the kitchen.

You weren't one to eavesdrop, but you always seemed to be in the right place at the right time; you clearly heard your name being mentioned and came to a halt, just a few feet from their room, the door creaked open.

"How are things between you and [Y/N]? It seemed you guys were getting along but now. . . I'm not so sure." It was clearly Yamaguchi and you knew far too well who was he talking to.

"What is it to you?"

"I worry, that's all." He came to a pause. "I mean, we're not kids, but last time Daichi-san seemed pretty unnerved about you two always bickering. . . and you seemed alright a few weeks ago but now. . . it just looks like you're avoiding each other."

Once again Yamaguchi spoke up, only to be cut off.  _"What is it to you?"_ Tsukishima pressed further, clearly annoyed. "Because in case you haven't noticed, I don't give two flying fucks about her."

_. . . Eh?_

It felt as though your brain had stopped working; none of that was sinking in. You cursed yourself for being a stupid eavesdropper, for being a stupid, delusional girl. You cursed yourself for ever trying to befriend that brute of a person.

You were fuming, angry at your own pity state, at the same time you felt your legs tremble and your lips quiver. You could feel the warm tears threatening to run down the corners of your eyes; but then again, your pride was already hurt, not like crying would change much of your image.

Your steps were heavy, rather than out of numbness or anger you didn't know for sure, but you made it outside the house. You stopped on the front porch, your fists clenched and your lips quivering.

_So much for getting worked up after Mako's assumptions. . . Maybe I was really starting to like him._

You hated Tsukishima Kei. You hated how he didn't care about other people's feelings; you hated how he always outsmarted everyone. You hated his wicked, multifaceted personality; you hated his lack of enthusiasm and willpower.

And above all else, you hated how he even gave off a falsely approachable aspect to him, because clearly all your attempts had been in vain.  _Why him, anyway?_

You humorlessly chuckled at your mediocre attitude all this time and allowed yourself to sit down on the stairway, your sandals being placed to the side as you dug your feet on the sand.

You brought your knees closer to your chest, burying your head in between your thighs. "I hate you so, so much." You spoke up, your voice hoarse. And you had in mind just ranting your troubles away would help you calm down.

But instead you stayed with your head low and gritting teeth, angry tears running down your freezing cheeks. It was actually really cold outside, so you'd have to go back inside soon enough. But you didn't want anyone seeing the state you were in. . .  _Sigh._

"Hey, hum. Listen."

You didn't move an inch upon listening to his voice; heck, you didn't even open your eyes. You were already stressed enough at his bullshit, so you never had in mind of ever talking or looking his way.

You heard him sigh, his shoulder brushing against yours as he sat by your side. "I'm not good with words."  _It seems we have that in common,_ you mentally agreed. "I might've overreacted but, you know, it's a way to shut it all out."

Listening to his words caused your face to twitch into an even more annoyed expression. You screwed up whatever you had with the boy and that was fine. Both sides had been hurt and that was also fine. If things were meant to be that way, why bother trying?

_You_ had been the one to overstep the limits.  _You_  were fierce and courageous to try and settle on good terms with the boy; it was also you who had stepped on the landmine and stepped back. You fucked up and heard him roar in return. It was fine. 

You couldn't muster up enough confidence to speak your mind, so all you did was cower in the corner and deal with your own mistakes. It was just like trying to approach a wild animal. You had to be calm and steady, subtle with your moves, but in the end you had stepped on a twig and scared him off.

For the first time you rose your gaze up at him. Your nose and tear-stained cheeks red, your lips shaped into a faint and cracked smile. As for him, he seemed genuinely concerned about you, his brows furrowed.

It was nice to see his cold and stoic persona set to the side, though he always struck you as a boy with a confused, distrusting character. Not like you were one to talk.

You wanted to reassure him it was alright, though it seemed like you were the one who needed to hear it. You also wanted to speak your mind, clear up the misunderstandings you had, but you simply couldn't speak up.

You couldn't phrase it properly in your head, although you really did try. You could feel the itch in your throat, the urge to clarify things, but nothing ever came out.

_What a stubbornly prideful little shit._

If he straight out left you there, you would be alright with that. Not like you had been able to talk anytime soon. What he did, though, was inch a little closer to you, to the point his nose could brush against yours.

And subtly, his lips had been pressed against yours.

"We were both awful. But it's alright." Was all he uttered, while you stood frozen in shock, as if he could just easily read you.

Was  _that_  his way of reassuring you? Surely that made it clear you were in good terms, but just how good were you?

"And go back inside. It's cold."

* * *

**_But the night just brings us back together._ **


End file.
